My dear Harikrishnan,
Did you frown?? I never called you Harikrishnan. But then , today on May 4th, 2012, suddenly everything is different. On this day my PG classes started early in the morning. "So what, you been doing that for decades now. I remember our classes at 8 a.m". I hear you saying this. Wait man, Today is May 4th 2012. I started discussing partial differential equations in the morning and at about 11.30 I wrote on the board- "Green's Functions" and suddenly I saw Red. Yes , I realized that when I walk out of the class at 1 p.m that will be for the last time from that class which I loved so dearly. You too had loved that class in the midst of "lovely, dark and deep woods". I remember your father once coming to that class to meet me. And his purpose... to thank me for your success in GATE 2002 !!! I felt humbled before that great man. I don't remember most of the things he spoke that day. But two things still linger in my mind. These two things I have narrated to 10 batches of my PG students after you left. On that day while teaching in our Santhiniketan type of class I felt somebody standing at the door. It was your father. But I could not move for a while. He was there with folded hands in the "Namaskaram" posture. Before and after that day many people including students and their parents have said namaskaram to me. (In fact this is something any teacher gets in abundance). But this posture was the perfect one. Perfect One?? Yes , when you pick up something from nature, there is only one perfect representation for it. Not everybody realizes that. Not everybody even knows that. But to the extraordinary, it comes so naturally. I was reminded of a few statements by Dr Padma Subramanyam, the Bharatha Natyam exponent. Sometime during the nineties I had attended a workshop cum demonstration by her. Then she said the following, " Whenever I have a doubt regarding a posture, I go to the temples where these are sculptured. These form our library". So Hari, the representation of a feeling or an emotion in nature is unique !! Your father knew it. Then he told me the following. After Harikrishnan's BSc results were out I started from Kollam buying application forms from colleges offering MSc Physics course. (You guys make the lives of parents miserable. Renjan also believes that one's intellectual faculties are in inverse proportion to one's performance in conventional examinations - and at CMI he worked hard to keep his scores as low as possible !! He goes to the extent of saying that the students shall learn only and never be examined !! Fortunately for me he is yet to say that there shall be no teachers). Your father continued. " Sir, reaching CMS college I felt like being in a very romantic ambience. Seeing these old structures and in particular these poetic pillars I decided that Harikrishnan will study here only and nowhere else !!!" Oh God, here is a man telling me what I always had in my mind and what I dared not to speak lest I be branded a lunatic for yet another reason !!! Did I hear a Sreeragam flowing out of the woods.....Endoro Mahanubhavulu...... Yes Man you have to go a long way to reach your father.
A father like him does just one thing. Inspires. The onus to get inspired lies with the son. And you are a "faithful" son indeed !!!
I had started off writing about my last day in CMS but it drifted to unplanned terrains. Yet I am happy that a random drift took such a beautiful course.
And Hari, in my case I am trying to be a "faithful father" !!! Yes, I am hugely inspired by Renjan. These days I learn a lot of Physics from him. I wish I were at least ten years younger so that I could have passed on to my students whatever I learn from him. I have a long long way to go and yet never reach him !!! This makes my joy unbounded when I retire. God has put him on the track I had always dreamt for him.
With love,
Your Rajan Saar.
I forgot to write this:
How it was curtains on May 4th. It was yet another 8 to 1 class on 4th May. Yes, yet another when it started at 8 a.m but not when it ended. At 1 p.m I stopped and was planning my steps out. I thought I will talk to the students for a while, cool down and retire with grace. As I was about to talk something Harsha (she was my student for her BSc too) uttered this without any "provocation" - Sir, this is your last class??
Oh God, now I should leave lest my feigned valour fail me, I told myself and left the class in a haste.
Left the class??
Yes, I left the class room taking with me in my mind the facsimile of 31 batches of MSc students. Of course not in chronological order.
Yes, there was some sort of an order. Some pictures were very bright. Some have started fading.
Three very bright pictures were those of Sakthi (Toyo University, Japan), Mon (Mohan) (James Cook University, Australia), and Oomman (Pensylvania State University, USA). Tell you one more? Yes of course Meera (PDF at JNCASR, Bangalore).
Pradeep, Priyamvada, Thulasidharan, Sreedevi, Nampoothiri, Reji, Sherine...... oh no, I stop...lest I should end up writing all the names.....each was so dear to me.....dearer than what they would have ever thought to be......I always knew that my love for you all was very unrealistic.....but then for each person what is real is what one thinks to be real.....
Christina, should I tell these people that you are there in my heart as brilliantly as ever???
Very emotional. I could see the romantic deep woods and the last PG class. And now Appa, I wish I were your student
ReplyDeletelove
Anna
O' Chakkare, if you are not my student then who else is?
DeleteI have been wondering and thinking what to write. I feel sad that though unsaid at the back of your mind I sense a pre gone conclusion your teaching days are somehow over because you have retired. A lot of us would not be who and where we are in life, without your love and your belief in our ability to excel. You have dared many to dream – you have instilled and nurtured a love for knowledge in us. So please be there for the next set of students who will come knocking at your door.
ReplyDeleteThen a secret- I have been afraid you would forget me with time and very frankly insecure that you may in time have other favourite students. It has been almost 20 years since my last day at CMS. I feel secure now - those you love you carry in your heart across time and distance. I would never have survived CMS but for you. I am sure a lot of others will have something similar to say.
You are who you are - CMS was just the setting – accepted a spectacular one soaked in history and unrivalled beauty – quite a task to rival. What would the new setting be???????????? I for one will be eagerly waiting to know.
Christina.
I answer your last question first- now I will learn some Physics, so far I was only teaching! Renjan has promised to teach. But he seems to be a tough task master(don't tell him,I told you this).
DeleteThere weren't other questions??
Thank you for remembering me so fondly. Yes, it's almost 20 years....but then love is one thing that remains invariant in space and time transformations.
That's why my blog started at "loveall" and still remains there. I wish the game never progressed!!!
word's can't always express one's feelings.It's of no need to say amazing.you are always like that.Each and every words go straight into my heart.I need your blessings.Without the presence of your hands on my head i will feel lonely
ReplyDeletelovingly amala
While reading this, many memories flashed through my mind. Our 8.30
ReplyDeleteclasses and all those stories which you used to tell us. It is difficult to
imagine that no more students will get those experiences.
I hope that those who really love the subject get a chance to meet you
at least once in their life. Now I realize that how lucky we are.
Academically where I am today, is only because of you.
In my Unit (theoretical science unit, JNCASR) there are (no were) only
6 malayalies of which 3 are your students.
I always wanted to say many things to you, but had never got the courage.
The reason that I am so afraid of you is that, I myself know that as
a student, I didn't do justice to a great teacher like you. I don't
know if there is any point in apologizing now.
I need your blessing in each step of my life.
Sona
Dear Sir,
ReplyDeleteI am not a person to write an ode to the most wonderful teacher I had ever known. I am just sharing my thoughts here.
I had the chance to attend your morning classes only during my B.Sc. At times, I still rue about not being able to join CMS for my M.Sc. And the reason is that I missed the precious chance to attend your PG classes.
I still remember the day, when I asked you whether I can continue coming to our Centre as suddenly I had become an outsider (joining CUSAT for my MSc). When you replied that I still belong to that special Fellowship, maybe a bit more than most 'insiders', my joy and relief knew no bounds. Because I knew what that meant for my life. I missed out doing M.Sc in CMS. But I got a chance to make amends by remaining at our Centre and listening to your thoughts.
From Malloossery, I have reached upto New Delhi and you made that possible, sir. I humbly request to God to help me achieve whatever expectations you have for me. And for doing that I need your blessings all through my life.
I do hope that you will be a lantern for all those future students also who will be trudging along seeking knowledge. You INSPIRE us, sir.
Yours faithfully,
Jagadeesh
Sir, I think memories are more powerful than live experiences. You are blessed with lot of delight moments in your career which make you the most worthy teacher I ever met.
ReplyDeleteWe are lucky enough that we were your students. Thank you very much Rajan sir...
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ReplyDeleteThe Masala Dosa that changed my life.
ReplyDeleteScene 1. BSc Physics
Me passed BSc with a very low score. Even that was a relief for me.
Scene 2. MSc Physics
Just because of my CSI back ground and my father’s influence I got admission to MSc Physics which normally I don’t deserve. All the teachers are known to me and all know me well. They all have a correct picture of me in their mind. Evan veruthe vannirikkuva, jayyikaknonnum pokunnilla…
Scene 3. Rajan Sir’s entry.
I tried to be a good student in the class. Very much attentive. While going back from college with my class mate Anish, we had a talk with Rajan sir in front of GS centre. Actually we were giving way to sir so that we could avoid talking with a Professor. But unlike other professors sir started talking to us. Not like” enthade karrangi nikkunnathu, veettil pode”, but with mutual respect. The first time in my life somebody talked to me like that. A respectful person giving respect to low profile students like us. We were the ones with least scores in the class. I noticed that sir was paying attention to what we had to say. We talked about half an hour or more. It was a great experience for us. I talked to a professor half an hour.
Scene 4. Started loving Rajan sir.
One day when I came out of the class in the evening I found Rajan sir outside the class waiting for us. Again I wondered how come a professor could wait for a student. We were invited to sir’s car and we reached Hotel Anand. How can we sit before a teacher like sir and eat. But sir had no doubt. The first masala dosa which changed my life came. We tried to be very polite. Like we are attending a party arranged by queen Elizabeth. But soon the politeness barrier melted and we started behave normally. Sir was cracking jokes to us. We talked and talked about all the things in the world. Sorry, sir talked and we listened.
The next day I came college with a proud face. I proudly presented the greatest ever experience in my life, “having masala dosa with Rajan sir” before the 10 girls in my class. I am sure they were jealous that time to us. They could not understand the reason we were taking out by sir. Of all the students in the class, what on earth make sir pick me up. Even I could not understand it.
This repeated several times in a week. We resisted sir’s offer some times but sir was the winner always.
Scene 5. Pradeep started studying.
Every time sir meet us, we were met with the question “ padikkunnundo ? ”. I could not say lies to sir as I started loving sir so much. To that reason only I started learning Physics. To my surprise I got first class in the first year exam. The second year sir was not teaching us so, I did not make a first class.
Scene 6. The second class Pradeep was inspired by sir to prepare for GATE.
I started living inside the campus with Ginu for the GATE preparation. Sir gave me sir’s scooter and I was getting money for petrol on a weekly basis. Passed GATE just because of sir’s coaching and joined MTech and got life partner from there. “Even a Masala Dosa can change your life”.
Scene Now. Married life.
Though I loved Physics because of Rajan sir, the more inspiration I got about real life is from Rajan sir’s family. I lost my touch with Physics somewhere. But my wife Lethy used to ask me “ Achayya, Am I a good wife like Susan miss now?” And when she gets angry with me, she says “ When you lost touch with Rajan sir, your good qualities had gone”. What else I have to say about the changes a masala dosa can make into our life.
Scene Future.
We again meet at Anand restaurant. Talking about the love of Jesus. Talking about Bible truths.
Forgiveness
I did a great sin towards God and Rajan sir. When my son was born, I did not take him to sir for blessings. Yes I did it for my reasons which is not valid even inside my family. Please forgive me sir for that.
With love Pradeep